Tako Human
by Bluemaskgirl
Summary: Summary? No. First proper fanfic, so review gently please. Chapter 6 now up.
1. Chapter 1

Note: This fanfic happens 100 years after the events of Invader Zim, and 150 after the events of Earthbound, neither of witch I do not own by the way.

She was lying on her back. She opened her eyes. It was dark. Dark and cold. Then there was a bright light and...

"HI!" Suddenly standing over her was a little robot with a huge grin on his face, "I fixed you, Tako-human!" Tako? The japanese word for octopus? What was he blabbering about? 'Tako-human' sat up to ask what he meant, but was too surprised by what she saw to say anything.

She was in a lab of some sort, sitting in box-like machine. The machine had an on/off button on it, witch the robot had apparently 'fixed' her with. Beyond that she could see nothing else, as she seemed to be near-sighted.

Getting to her feet, she asked the robot, "Um, can you maybe tell me what's going on?" He responded by running around the room a few times yelling things like:"The red thing made a BIIIIIIIIIIG HOLE so master put you to sleep!", "TACOS!" and "I've bin' tryn' ta fix ya a LOOOOONG TIME!" then he came to a screeching halt in front of 'Tako-human' and declared in a very loud, very annoying, very hi-piched voice "YOUR NAME IS ONE POINT ONE, BUT I WANNA CALL YOU TAKO! YOU'RE A CLONE THINGY!"

"Okay, OKAY! I get it! I'm Tako." Tako whimpered. She then realized that a less complex question was in order.

"Where are we?"

"We're in a lab!"

"Where's the lab?"

"In master's second base!"

"Where's the base?"

"Why ya' askin'?"

"Because I'd like to know."

The robot looked confused. "But Tako, you helped master and me build it." She didn't remember that. Or much of anything else, for that matter. Aside from a few random facts, her memory was blank.

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"Hmm, that's interesting…" Said a teenage girl with curly blonde hair, as she finished reading an old newspaper article. "What is it Iwi?" Asked a boy who

was helping her sort the stuff in her attic. "Sid, look at this newspaper's headline!" The red-headed boy looked apon the paper in Iwi's hands, and was surprised to see, not only was it printed eighty-five years ago, but it's headline directly contradicted what he learned in history class: _Giygas Alive!?…._

Sid started to panic, "Iwi… t-tell me this is a joke! Tell me you made this to scare me!" Iwi's face drooped, "No, Sid…" she began, "it's very real…" the pair's gaze fell to the picture below the headline. It depicted a large red shape in front of a green house with what appeared to be the door from a men's washroom.

_Yay! Chapter one complete! Maybe the next chapter will say what Tako looks like… and the robot's name is unknown to her for a plot related reason.(as if any Invader Zim fan wouldn't know who he is.)_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or Earthbound.

"Hey! Wait!" Running through a vast, hot, empty desert after a strange little robot was NOT Tako's idea of fun. It didn't help that her sleeves, skirt, and shoes were black. Nor that she had long, thick green hair. Back at the lab she had asked what they were going to do next. The robot rubbed his hand across his metal chin, then grabbed her hand and exclaimed, "Follow me, Tako-human!" she now wished she had objected.

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Sid was sitting in his bedroom, reviewing his notes from high school history. He hadn't looked at them after graduating the previous month. Finally, he found the passage he was looking for: '150 years ago the four friends of destiny defeated the embodiment of evil, Giygas. This bought about an era of peace that ended at the start of WWIII, witch was 85 years ago.' "Hmm…" he said to himself.

Meanwhile, Iwi was running an online search on the old newspaper's name. It had the most bizarre title: _'The Daily Notice'_ despite that, according to what had already been found, there had never had anything in it true enough to be called a notice. The _'Giygas Alive?!' _headlinehad apparently been part of a pitiful, and illegal, attempt to sell more newspapers. This was not a well known event, as the start of WWIII came three days later.

Iwi was ready to quit, when Sid ran in, "Iwi, look!" she glanced at the open text book in her friend's hands then at the name of the town _'The Daily Notice' _had been based in. "The town that's destruction started World War Three, and the town the newspaper is from are the same place!" Iwi looked out the window, "World War Three," she muttered, "the war that destroyed half of the earth…"

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Tako plopped down on on the sand, exhausted. The robot had finally stopped in front of an old dried up tree. "SLEEP TIME!" he screeched, pulling a black blanket out of the top of his head. He handed Tako the blanket and turned to the tree. Then a hose-like device came out of his head, and it must have been like a flamethrower, as he used it to set the decrepit thing ablaze. A stunned look came over Tako's face, "Well," she said, "that's ONE way to start a campfire…"

_Chapter two complete! Hooray, ect. I'ma go work on chapter three now. *leaves*_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Earthbound or Invader Zim.

Tako's ever-terrible vision seemed to be worsening, she could've sworn she was in a desert a moment ago. Now her eyes were telling her she was in a cave that (despite all logic) seemed to be pulsating. Her legs were walking when she hadn't bidden them to.

A strange device around her wrist began buzzing. She lifted it so that it faced her, and an eerily familiar voice came, "One Point One, status!" it demanded. Tako then realized she had no control over her body, as she replied, "The cave has a fair level of oxygen, however, it may be more then a simple cave sir." "Explain! " shouted the voice, pushing the limits of the device.

"The walls are… moving…" she began, "as if… pumping something, sir." the voice sighed, "Stop trying to get out of scouting duty early, and find that life form GIR's scanners picked up!" the device beeped and shut off. Now Tako was getting scared. There was something else in this place with her? This was troubling, but nowhere near as troubling as the ominous red glow around the next bend.

As she turned the corner, her eyes widened. She lifted the device again, "Sir, I believe I've found the life form." the voice cackled, "Excellent! Describe it." that wouldn't be easy. The life form bordered on indescribable. Never the less, she proceeded. "It's red, black, swirling, waving, it has what sort of looks like a face," Tako gave the life form a gentle poke, "and it's squishy, sir." suddenly the cave filled with the most frightening sound she had ever heard, and her vision went black.

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Now entering: Tako's POV.

Whoa! What was that? Hey… I'm back in that cold dark box-thing. It's not as cold as it was before, but it's getting colder. I hear a voice! I think it's the same voice that was coming out of that wrist thing.

"GIR! This is important! When One Point One wakes up, take her to our original base, and…"

Huhn? It trailed off… what's going on? It's getting colder… I feel… so… sleepy. Maybe I'll… just… nod off…

Now exiting: Tako's POV

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"Wake up, Tako-human!" Tako cringed as the robot screeched in her ear to wake her up. She looked around to see they were still in the desert. "A dream?" she muttered, "Or maybe it was… Hey, uh, little robot!" the robot turned from were he was putting out the still flaming tree with sand. "Would your name happen to be GIR?" at this he jumped up and tackled her, "YAY! You remembered!" He yelled.

_Third chapter in the hole! Woohoo! *Leaves to work on chapter four*_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do no own Earthbound or Invader Zim.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"Miss Iwi Airim, please answer the door!" Iwi looked out the window at the police bot pounding on her door. "It's politeness chip must be malfunctioning," she muttered, "otherwise it wouldn't knocking on my door so hard it leaves cracks, and at six AM, no less." as she contemplated the best way to address the situation, Sid got up from were he was sleeping on the couch and walked to her side. "I'm gonna complain about that thing at the town hall today…" he said with a yawn.

Finally, Iwi shuffled over and opened the door, "Hey now, what's the deal? You police bots were invented to be the perfect law enforcement, now you're waking two random teens, and probably some of the neighbours, at six AM?" The bot lowered it's arm,"Miss, I have reason to believe you have a copy of an eighty-five-year-old newspaper that was based in-" "Hey Iwi!" Sid shouted rudely, "Ask chrome dome what it wants with a fake newspaper that's older than our grandparents that was so important it had to come before sunrise."

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"Um, GIR?" Tako said to her odd little companion, "Are you sure we're in the right place?" after traversing the desert for three hours, the little robot had stopped in front of a green solitary house that looked odd. GIR, who apparently didn't want to answer Tako's question, grabbed the burgundy torso section of her top and dragged her through the men's room door, witch served as the house's front door. "Holy frigg!" exclaimed Tako when she saw what was on the other side.

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Iwi and Sid were shocked. What the police bot had just told them completely rewrote their history. "So, you're saying the explosion that started world war three wasn't caused by terrorists, but by a little green alien in a purple ship." "Yes, Miss Airim." "And this alien caused the explosion in an attempt to kill Giygas, the embodiment of evil." "Correct." "On top of that, the whole story about Giygas having been human at birth, was a cover up by the government to hide the fact that aliens exist?" "Indeed, Miss Airim." Iwi's eye twitched. Sid yawned in annoyance.

"Officer, with all due respect, you're malfunctioning."

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GIR seemed a little too happy to see what they had found, "YAAAY! It's master's voot thingy!" 'voot thingy'? What did that mean? It looked like a purple space ship to Tako. "Get in Tako-human!" the little robot screeched, "Get in! Get in! GEEEeeEEEET IIIIIiiIIIN TAAaaAAKOOOooOO-HUUUuuUUMAN!" Tako cringed. "Why?" she asked. "We're gonna' go see master." replied GIR. Tako's eye twitched. This was going to be a long ride.

_Wow, did I really slack off for that long? Sorry.*goes to work on chapter five… maybe*_


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or Earthbound.

Another night, another nightmare for poor Tako. Tonight it was in a dark, creepy room. She was chained to a chair, and standing in front of her was a white humanoid with a tail saying the creepiest things. "Y…o…u…s…o…u…n…d…l…i…k…e…h…e…r…" it spoke, "I…s…y…o…u…r…n…a…m…e…M…a…r…i…a…?" Once again Tako found she was not in control, as she heard herself reply, "I am clone unit One Point One, state your name as I have mine!" the thing's antennae twitched. It stiffened, and said, "I…a…m…L…o…r…d…G…i…y…g…a…s…a…n…d…y…o…u…a…r…e…m…y…h…o…s…t…"

* * *

"TAKO-HUMAN!" GIR screeched in his companion's ear, waking her from her troubled slumber. They were in the 'voot thingy' now, soaring through space on some corse GIR had set them on. "GIR?" Tako said as she rubbed her eyes, "Have you ever heard of someone called Lord Giygas?" the little robot pondered this for a moment. Then he tilted his head to one side and asked, "What's a Lord?" all the while playing with Tako's hair, turning it into a tangled green mess. Tako made a mental note not ask GIR anymore questions.

"Incoming message from unknown vessel." Said the ship's computerized voice. "Patching through…" Nothing could've prepared Tako's ears for the assault that followed, "ZIM, YOU FILTHY _SCAD'T_! I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU!" shouted a very angry sounding female voice. Tako cringed and rubbed her pounding temples, "Urgg, GIR, do you know who that is?" she mumbled. GIR did a little dance that made him look like rabbit that needed to use the toilet, and said, "It's that Tak lady… and when you are ready to join us now… She's master's friend!" Tak must've been able to hear them as she responded by shouting, "I AM NOT ZIM'S FRIEND! PERISH!" Then there was a loud boom. "Unknown vessel has fired phazite torpedoes." stated the computerized voice. "Taking evasive manoeuvres." As the ship began to buck and convulse, evading the torpedoes, Tako began to wonder if it was possible for her stomach to fall out.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Earthbound or Invader Zim.

Iwi was sure she was going to snap. The police bot had insisted she bring the newspaper when she dragged him down town for repairs. Also the human officer at the front desk said she had to stay there while he filed the report.

"Sir, Is this going to take very long?" she asked, an annoyed tone in her voice. "Usually it doesn't, but for some reason my terminal's not running very quickly today." The officer replied, before taking a sip of coffee, "So, Miss Airim, who's that young gentlemen who was in such a hurry to get to the town hall?" "My cousin, Sid Monotoli." The officer was confused. "You two didn't act like cousins." at this Iwi groaned internally. Sid and her's relationship was more like they where good friends rather than cousins. But some people assumed this was an unhealthy romance, witch both Iwi and Sid found very annoying.

The officer suddenly growled in annoyance, "I'm sorry to trouble you Miss Airim, but the terminal's not letting me file the report in the database. As per protocol I can't leave my desk, so you'll have to drop this hard copy of the report off upstairs so it can be filed manually." with that he returned to his work (and his coffee).

After about three hours of dodging phazite torpedos, and two more hours hiding in an asteroid belt, Gir and Tako had finally lost Tak. By that time Tako had puked in her robotic companion's head twice. "Mai head feeeels mooshie!" Screeched Gir, bobbing his head so that the bile made a swishing noise.

"Enemy no longer in range." droned the computer, "Returning to original course." Tako breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't fancy the idea of throwing up three times in the only week of her life she remembered at the moment.

About five minutes of dull silence later, the computer beeped in again, "Approaching destination. Prepare for landing." Ahead of them was a purple space station.


End file.
